Client Interview: Jospeter M. Mbuba, PhD

It's always a privilege to work with academics on their manuscripts.  As a former academic, I know the joy of having a book-length manuscript accepted for publication.  But having the manuscript accepted is just the first step.  Perfecting the manuscript can be the hardest part, especially for academics whose degrees aren't in writing studies.  That's where LSE comes in.  I was fortunate to help Jospeter Mbuba, PhD, by lightly copyediting and proofreading his book Policing in Eastern Africa: A Focus on the National Police Service in Kenya.  Here's what Dr. Mbuba had to say about the book and working with me as a copyeditor and proofreader.

LSE: What’s the title of your book, and when did you first decide to write it?
Mbuba: Policing in Eastern Africa: A Focus on the National Police Service in Kenya.  The project is the culmination of my sabbatical research. I sought to fill a void in comparative and international policing, as there were no comprehensive academic reference materials on policing in Kenya.

LSE: Where is the book currently in the publication process?
Mbuba: The book is currently under consideration for publication. What remains are a few photos to be added and any feedback from the potential publisher.

LSE: What are your hopes for the finished book?  Whom do you hope to reach, and what effect do you hope this book will have on them?
Mbuba: I hope to have the book adopted for teaching in higher education institutions in Kenya and the larger region of Eastern Africa and to have it used as a reference by scholars of comparative and international law enforcement. The effect of this work will be to provide students with a baseline text about policing and to make available comprehensive data for use by scholars.

LSE: You’d mentioned during the editing process that you enjoyed reviewing the first pass of the edits and proofreading markups.  What was it that you found enjoyable?
Mbuba: It was absolutely enjoyable to learn from my own grammatical errors and to see the various effective ways of communicating an idea.

LSE: How did the proofreading/editorial process help improve your manuscript and, perhaps, benefit you as a writer?
Mbuba: The editorial process improved the quality of my work significantly. It evened out awkward sentence turns, put emphasis where it was necessary, introduced active tone where it unnecessarily was passive, changed the focus to the right subjects in sentences, removed ambiguities, introduced clarity as necessary, and provided proper punctuation. Reading through these edits certainly benefited me, as it gave me quite a few insights about how to improve my writing.

LSE: Was LSE fair and accommodating regarding the price and payment arrangements?
Mbuba: The price and payment arrangement were very fair. I couldn’t ask for more.

LSE: What advice would you give to other academic and book-writers who are writing non-fiction books, both about writing their books and about working with a professional copyeditor?
Mbuba: Every writer needs a professional copyeditor. Novices can improve the quality of their work, and experts benefit from a second opinion.

Return from Summer and a September of Many Changes

What a summer it's been here at LSE! Lots of travel, lots of great projects and wonderful clients. One of the best parts of my job is learning so much from all that I read. I'm truly blessed to have worked with and learned from some amazing clients this summer!

Many of my clients know that my father died unexpectedly this summer. My family misses him terribly, and I'm eternally grateful for the patience that so many of my clients extended to me as I attended to family concerns.

Before my father's death, I'd been working on a few new Oratoria ideas, and I am planning a sort of re-launch of LSE in the coming months. I'm planning two major shifts, one to the Oratoria (which will hopefully provide more free practical advice for writers, in the spirit of St. Philip Neri) and the other to the focus of our services (we're narrowing our client base, so a shift in services will follow so that we can keep our workflow schedule reasonable).

In the meantime, the Oratoria will be back with updates, and we're still offering our full schedule of services. It's been a busy summer, so if you've been thinking about asking for a quote, now's the time!

Thanks, and I hope many blessings for each of you.

So you want to get better at writing, or: The erstwhile handbook

Not long ago, a prospective client asked me about what he -- a man in his 60s completing a degree program -- could do to remedy his poor writing.  As a former university writing director and composition teacher, I've got a few answers to that question:

Everyone thinks he or she is a terrible writer.  He or she is (usually) wrong.  What's happened is probably some combination of the following:

  1. Having been the student of untrained teachers of writing (e.g., people who think they know The Rules and that Good Writing = Rule-Based Writing).  Let's say your English, history, or psychology professor gives you an assignment with a large writing component, but writing wasn't the main point of the assignment (maybe it was instead to explicate a play, to discuss the significance of Ceasar's crossing of the Rubicon, or to write a meta-analysis of common depression treatments).  If you lose a letter grade or more on that assignment any academic work that isn't intended to test and evaluate your use of grammar, usage, punctuation, and other rules and customs pertaining to writing, then your writing teacher is untrained according to contemporary composition-studies best practices.  He or she is likely to make you think that you're a "bad writer" because you didn't follow his or her idea of what counts as "good writing."  It's a common problem.
  2. Having worked or lived with what I sometimes think of as "false prophets": people who claim to have The Answers about what counts as "good writing," but unfortunately these folks haven't realized that G-d has yet to hand down the tablets of writing standards.  Beware the false prophets: they live among you.  You can usually tell them by their opinions, which are loud and voluminous.

So, what was my advice to my prospective client?  That's easy!  Just about anyone can do any one of these things in any proportion and see some improvement:

  1. Buy a college-level writing handbook (you know, the one you sold back to your bookstore but should have kept around as a handy resource).  Get one with exercises.  I recommend The Everyday Writer by Andrea Lunsford.  You can get older editions used for pocket change.  Read a chapter a week (no, really; read the full text of the chapters, not just the examples and such).  Do the exercises (the answers will be in the back).  Then set it aside for a few months or even a year and do it again.  It's even better if you're doing this with someone else, because your responses to the writing and style (as opposed to the grammar and punctuation) exercises will be different in interesting ways.
  2. Read a book about style written by a professional fiction or non-fiction writer.  The one that changed my life was William Zinsser's On Writing Well, but there are many good ones, including one by the same title written by Stephen King.
  3. Write privately every day or so.  Start a private blog.  Keep a journal.  You'll want to practice your newfound skills in a risk-free environment.
  4. Optional, for the truly serious: hire a writing tutor (I can help you with that) and ask that person to review your writing and give you feedback.  Just be sure that person is doing more than just making corrections for you.  That person should be pointing out problems and progress; the problems should be there for you to fix and improve upon, not opportunities for the tutor to become your copyeditor and fix herself.

Anyone can improve his or her writing.  It's important to remember that there is no ultimate standard for what counts as good writing, and even the best writers can continue to improve and learn about writing and language.  Kudos to you if you're thinking about improving your writing skills!  If there's anything I can do to help, don't hesitate to contact me.

Is there such a thing as "bad writing"?

Sure, there is.  It just isn't as straightforward as you probably think it is.

Full disclosure: my dissertation is about a cognitive-rhetorical approach to understanding literature.  Rhetoric isn't always an easy fit with art, so in order to make the case that the two really have something to offer each other, I had to provide a definition of art, specifically literary art.  That was chapter 1 of the dissertation.  Maybe I'll lay out that argument in the Oratoria someday, but that day ain't today!

So I've spent lots of quality time considering academic arguments about what constitutes capital-A Art and capital-L Literature.  I'm still perplexed whenever I come across literary critics who breezily make aesthetic claims as if they're based on premises so foundational as to be universal.  Examples abound, but you need only find one of the book reviews in The New Yorker for a fistful of examples.

But today I came across a new post on the Lingua Franca blog at The Chronicle of Higher Education's website, titled "An Exercise in Bad Writing."  TL;DR: the author explains an exercise used in a creative writing class in which students are asked to take a short story and write it so that, essentially, the story is told, not shown.  Alternatively, students are asked to take a short story and rewrite it so that it's a bad news story. 

The genre-switching there could provide students with some real challenges, in a good way, but it requires two jumps: first, students need to be able to discover and articulate what convention dictates constitutes "good" writing in both short stories and in news articles/broadcasts; second, students need to be able to deviate from those conventions purposefully and explain the writerly choices they made.  If they can do that, then their writing-fu is truly strong.  I used to ask students in a freshman first-year writing course to do something like this exercise, and they did so to varying degrees of success.  Advanced Composition students usually had better luck with the theory and execution of that kind of prompt.  But I digress.

What the author of the post in Lingua Franca doesn't explain is why front-loading a story with details constitutes "bad" writing.  This excerpt begins with what the post's author thinks is an example of bad writing:

And so when I began to go on evening walks last fall, I found Morningside Heights an easy place from which to set out into the city. The path that drops down from the Cathedral of St. John the Divine and crosses Morningside Park is only fifteen minutes from Central Park …
[Teju] Cole said, “To me, the wrong way to begin it, knowing what the book is about, would be: ‘As a Nigerian-German psychiatrist, living in New York City in my mid-thirties, I found myself quite melancholic to be in the shadow of the Twin Towers five years after they went down. In order to sort through my feelings both about the historic past of the city of New York and my own unsorted neuroses regarding my mother and my grandmother and my dead father I decided to wander around the city.’”

But a first paragraph like that sounds like something some of my favorite writers -- Saul Bellow, John Updike, China Mieville -- might start a book with.  How can I know that what I'm looking at is "bad"?

Perhaps -- and this is my modest proposal -- it's more important to ask students to think about how to define "good" or "art" or "literature" before asking them to start thinking about "bad" writing versus "good" writing.  If we did that, though, I'd probably be out of a job, as would a few psychologists, because we torture students when we lead them to believe that there's an objective standard of excellence in literary art that transcends definition or foundation.  They end up thinking "I'll never be a good writer" because they don't know what "good" means, and yet the implication is that there is a "good" that all "good" writers have an ear for.  That's not the case.

At the same time, we need to be able to evaluate literature.  Let's be clear: I'm not saying that all writing is born equal.  What I am saying, though, is that we have to have nuance -- that long-dead virtue -- when discussing the quality and trajectory of literature or any writing.  Sometimes, my clients want to know whether their manuscripts are "good," and I often tell them that that's not the right question.  The better questions are ones like, "Will it be easy to market this book to its intended audience?", "What is the likelihood that a publisher will be interested in picking this up?", "Does this article achieve my stated purpose?", and "What do you think would improve this manuscript?"  The answer to each of those questions entails some discussion of the quality of the story, information, research, etc., contained in the work, but it requires that I define "goodness" in terms of other objectives rather than on my secret-handshake knowledge of what the literati and I think counts as "good."  When I write for clients, I write for them, not for literary critics, literary agents, editors, or publishers whom I've never met.  I can only do so much to encourage a writer I'm working with to go in a certain direction.  At the end of the day, if a client tells me that she likes what I've written for her, I'm obligated to keep writing in that manner and style until she tells me (in detail) how else I should write for her.  "Good" only matters in that case if I think that what I'm writing will be in no way useful to the writer (e.g., she's contracted with me to write a website for her accounting business, but she wants the copy to be written as a poem; even in that case, I need to give her what she's asked for while carefully suggesting that this approach is highly unusual and may not be effective), but it's not something that's universal or even definable outside of a specific context with very clearly articulated terms.

So, it's not necessarily that writing can't be described as "good" or "bad."  The point here is that anytime you hear writing described that way, stop to ask yourself whether the person making that evaluation has made clear on what basis that evaluation has been made and whether you accept that person's premise.  Make sure you're also asking yourself why the question is "Is this good?" and if another question might be more relevant or useful.

Today's Proscription: Embellished Resumes

Just a quick update to the Oratoria today, and the message is one I think our patron saint, Philip Neri, would condone:

It's never ok to embellish your resume.

Many months ago, a potential client contacted me about a resume update.  This person was between jobs and career fields, so a couple different resumes would be on order, and because I could write a resume in my sleep, it would have been an easy way for me to pay the rent.

Because there were so many potential changes needed to this person's existing resumes, I offered to do a prospectus of sorts before being officially hired.  Which was a mistake.  No one should work for free, but I thought it seemed like pretty straightforward changes were needed, and I didn't mind explaining what I planned to do.  I might have wanted the same thing, were I in this person's position.

I should have suspected from the beginning that things weren't quite right with the resume.  The client (or, actually, potential client) wanted to know if it was ok to list a job title that was slightly different than the job title given to them (NB: I'm using the plural pronoun here to avoid identifying the gender of the client) by the employer.  After all, they told me, they'd actually done more than the job title implied.

In other words, the client wanted to lie on their resume.  No two ways about it: something like that is a straight-up lie, in this genre.

There were a few other trouble spots: the client was terminated from a job because of a falling out with an employer.  Ok, but it's not alright to suggest that the job did or didn't last longer than it actually did to suggest that the falling out happened sooner or later.  It's also not okay to say that you had responsibilities on the job that your former employer wouldn't corroborate should your prospective employer call to inquire about them.  None of these things are okay.

So, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when the prospective client said to me, "I'm going to have someone in my field edit my resume.  I disagreed with what you had to say about it."  At first, I was disappointed and a little hurt.  But then I remembered that I'd done the right thing.  It's not okay to lie on your resumes, friends, and it's doubly not-ok to ask a professional writer to lie on your resume for you. 

In the end, I hope that person heard from other people, too, that it's not okay to fudge the details of a resume.  Not only is it dishonest, it puts you at risk.  In other words, you can take the altruistic angle, or you can take the pragmatic angle; both lead you back to the conclusion that it's just not okay to embellish your resume.

You've been warned!